I didn’t realize how badly I’d let my mind go until a little thing gone wrong turned into this. I’m the epitome of an american citizen. a crazed mentally ill mind in a shitty car with mcdonalds french fries and marlboro menthols. I don’t know how I got here. I haven’t been to Hinsdale in months. I’m surprised I remembered the way. I decided a half tank of gas could cure me so I kept driving. I don’t know why I decided this but it’s too fucking late now. I took 86 and remembered reading on Facebook today that a truck driver drove off a cliff on this interstate and died and after coming close to too many guardrails and yellow lines that’s all I could think about. I let my intuition take hold of the wheel which was a stupid decision because I took one too many wrong turns and got on a random exit to get back on track. i ended up in ischua or at least I think that’s what it’s called. as I threw my cigarette butt out of the car window I felt a sort of free that only comes from wind blown hair and loneliness. I turned around because I was going way too far away from home and I imagined my cigarette blowing up the entire forest and driving through fire. I didn’t flinch. I guess I’m just lost and I don’t care and I wish Aaron West would just sing and sing into my car until I couldn’t hear anymore and until my gas ran dry but he can’t and I’m better than that. I’m better than this but still here I sit. maybe I’m not better than this. maybe I’m just fucking lost and maybe I’ll stay here forever.